Nerd Defiant Despite Bully’s Threats

20030106

Edward McFeely, a weakling who has been uppity and rumored to have a slingshot, yesterday yelled at Rab Connors, the neighborhood bully.

“Connors, you bully! I’m getting sick and tired of you bullying me and beating me up and I’m not gonna take it any more!”

Connors has been roughing up McFeely on a daily basis, issuing threats about weapons of mass destruction.

“If I ever catch that nerd McFeely with a slingshot or anything else like that, I’m gonna whup the tar outa him,” said Connors.

“Weakling kids like McFeely ain’t got no call carrying slingshots in their pockets. If anybody’s gonna have a slingshot in this neighborhood, it’s gonna be me,” he said.

When asked about the other uppity nerd in the block, Henry Higgins, McFeely evaded answering. “You know it’s the same policy for everyone: nerds can’t have dangerous weapons.”

Spike Stevens, Connors’ toadie, added, “But Higgins is a different case, so different rules apply.”

Henry Higgins has been seen openly carrying a baseball bat although he is not member of a baseball team. “Yeah, I got me a bat, and I’m gonna use it, too. That McFeely guy better be careful who he tries to bully next. If he so much as touches me, I’m gonna whup this bat upside his head!”

Rumor has it that Blake Martin, a retired bully and friend of Henry Higgins’s, has been talking to Henry about his behavior. However, the story could not be corroborated by any reliable witnesses.

Connors, universally recognized as the biggest kid on the block, has this to say. “Well, McFeely and Higgins, along with that other kid, whats-his-name, are the Axle of Error. They keep causing trouble. They deserve to have somebody whip the tar out of them.”

McFeely replied, “Am not!”

Higgins added, “You are!”

Welcome to the machine.